Where is the universe?
Lets look at what we have. There are people who are individuals, and in the mind there is an identity, ego, self. So in fact there is a belief that there are many, many selves. All of these separate selves make relationships by way of social and political structures, such as organisations, nations, and so on. Any one person sees the others as separate people. We might say my son, my wife, my friend, but this is separating. The mind has a construct of the viewer and the seen. There is a self seeing the self, accepting this as a normal division.
The self doesn't see itself as part of all that, even though it is obvious. The self maintains a coherent yet artificial perception of an independent viewer. But for that to be true that self observing the observed self can only be a self that is in the relationship. So what we call self, which implies a thing, a oneness, is false. Self embraces all of us, and is shared. It actually exists not in a partial individual form, but in a non-individuated, non-fragmented state. To see that is to see a fact. However it is not the self that can see that, and so the experience is unusual, non-self-referential, and so very different. To keep it simple I have used the word self throughout, but no doubt , as the self drops away, we would need different words, and this is a continuing discussion.
It's nothing to do with what I say.
Who am I? Let's look at our inner selves. I is the center, where we consider there is thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing and all of that. I see myself as having an individuality and that's what we are dealing with now, in our meeting, in talking, writing, to each other. So "I" is very important, essential, in our lives. All of what we talk about, even if we make it sound humble, enlightened, we consider this center to be an imperative. We believe there must be an I. That's why we ask, Who am "I"? So might we ask, is it possible to live without such a center?
This is an impossible question isn't it? You can't discuss this without realising it is you who are discussing, talking, and so on. So instead of putting your objections, doubts, arguments, assertions, questions, into a forum and debate, can we at first settle down together, to quiet ourselves, and without jumping at words and ideas, openly and intimately share being together. I don't mean make some prayers, enact some ritual, but simply address your inner self as it is probably very jumpy, interactive, from living in the normal environment. This is just a self, inner, observation. You do this yourself. No one tells you what to do, or how to do it. This is a beginning. And you don't have to ask any questions, nor try to get clear, meaningful answers from someone else.
I feel kind of silly saying this, but it's just there isn't it? The world, life, and all of that? We can talk about the world, life, and all of that, but we do it in a peculiar way. We talk in terms of ownership don't we- Me, mine, yours, ours and so on. It's strange how this perception is bound up in law, rules, regulations, and in the way we conduct our lives, families, business, politics, religion. Of course it isn't just that we think like that, but that we are involved in thought process, and no longer see the world just as it is, but through the prism of self, I. Is this mechanism so difficult to put aside that we become its slave? We can be reminded by philosophers, poets, gurus, but we can no longer see directly for ourselves.
What good is knowing?Today I needed some groceries so I went to the shopping center. It is not of course the first time. During the past few weeks I have been at home, indoors and in the garden, not doing anything much. It is the holiday season. Just as I got to the entrance of the shopping center, walking from the car, seeing all the shoppers, the innumerable people, young and old, well dressed and shabby, rushing by, waiting, alone and in families, and all the different faces, I saw something underneath the suburban image and I heard a question; A secret, hidden, question belonging to all of us, not just me - What am I doing here? A feeling of tiredness, despair, futility. We are engrossed in the distraction of empty lives. Living out what that pettiness means to each of us. It is the self which asks -Why? Then it is the self which seeks to satisfy itself. The distraction, and the self go hand in hand, trying to make life materially more meaningful. Is there some place deeper down, where we believe there is an answer to the question; What are we doing here? Now before you get involved in that question, it is a question raised within self, and there is no answer other than the awareness that something is wrong, strange, and questionable. Self, I, ego, is the response. Thought, asking questions and seeking answers is the internal activity, a process, within the mind.
Self responds within itself by having this unconscious despair, this normality of greed. People turn away from awareness and become involved in a daily activity of distraction and self satisfaction. In fact the self is an illusion distracting from our fears. Looking for answers, thinking there is some place deeper, feeling despair, is part of what we have devised, over the aeons of human time, by way of knowledge. We have invented gods, deities, images, belief, rather than live in the direct, immediate, open relationship with natures vagaries, uncertainties, and terrors. We have become proud, and glorified in our knowledge, even though the thinking is endlessly divided. I say I have to be pushy, to rush, to banter, to argue, to be selfish, to be bossy, to be clever, because I am in a hurry, I haven't enough time, I have to feed the family, I know what is right.
It seems as though in ordinary language we are restricted to the common usuage of language, and to the perspective of the language. I am not suggesting we need to be more clever, I am just making these observations. Is the perspective, that which is not affected by ordinary language elements, nationality, culture, beyond our ability? You know, we are affected by thought. So we are affected by the structure of thought. The words indicate time, future, events, actions and so on. So we are limited by the expression of becoming, what is to be, what should be, and our participation, our instrumentality. In seeing what is, we can still use language, but we have to be more attentive not to put things, just from habit, that aren't actually there. Is this just a difference of words? No, an action moving with the flow, is without I, so why report I. The reported I, is a part of the standard thinking, and while O so many people put it down to conventionality, clarity of speaking, good communication, and so on, it misses the point. The fragmented I, and conflict, are a fact, and we have proven an inability to transcend this. Of course it is up to everyone to see what is for themselves.
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